Interviews - Funny Things

My last few posts were all getting very similar. So with this post i am entering into a previously unchartered territory in this blog - humour.

As most of you (whatever few) will appreciate that this is a solemn moment in the history of time because this marks the begining of a new trial on Trial Run. So enjoy the read or else at least fool yourself into believing that you are enjoying it.
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The scene is of a B-school interview with Sam a veteran interviewer on one side and a young lad Judeth on the other as the interviewee. Judeth has prepared hard for the interview under the guidance of the leading tutorial for the entrance. He is currently waiting for his turn outside the interview hall while revising the main lessons that his mentors have filled him with as a part of his preparation for this interview-

-Sell yourself hard, most of us make the mistake of underselling ourselves.
-Dont let the interviewer drive the interview, instead you should be the driver.
-Mention your weaknesses but also tell them what you are doing to make them your strengths.
-Have a very optimistic outlook on things.
-The panel is looking for candidates who have a sound value-system.
-The panel looks to induct people who add to the diversity of the batch.
-You have to be spontaneous and think out of the box.
-Having a special interest is of particular importance.
-When asked why MBA??, emphasise on learning.

"Dude go in the panel is waiting for you" said the person coming out of the interview hall.

Judeth - May i come in.

Sam - Yes come in Judeth.

J (enters the hall with a carefully practised smile on his face) - Thank you and a very good morning to you sir.

S- Good morning Judeth have your seat.

J - Thank you sir.

S - Ok J i have already read your CV. Is there anything more that you would like to tell me about yourself.

("Damn writing everything on the CV was not such a good idea after all" thought J. He takes a second and then responds.)

J- Sir my CV does not tell you that i am a very spiritual person with a deep interest in philosophy.

("Bulls-eye - i have mentioned my special interest so early on in the interview and it seems like i am going drive it from here on.").

S - Thats interesting Judeth so what exactly in philosophy interests you.

J - It is the love of wisdom in general that interests me sir. Man is a rational entity and wisdom is what he should seek sir.

("Great going value system also done.")

S - Very well J. You used the word 'should' in your answer. So do you think that every man has a specific purpose.

J - Well, of-course sir, every man must actualise his true potential. Thats his purpose. I must also add that given my limited potential i have a serious competitive advantage over my peers here. As i would be able to exploit all my abilities much faster than any of my very gifted mates.

("Hard selling doesnt get any harder than this. Showed him how i can turn my weaknesses into strengths.")

S (trying to maintain his composure) - I must say you are a dire optimist J.

J - Sir, i have always believed that come what may a man should never cease to be an optimist. After all we all need to optimise ourselves.

("Whoohoo didnt expect to get optimism as free bonus.")

(S is actually amused now but he tries to keep the focus of the interview intact and hence changes the topic.)

S - Thats a very noble message Judeth. Can you tell me who is your role model in life.

(J by now is at ease with the whole setting and is now at his free flowing best.)

J - Sir Amir Khan in the Innova ad commercial says - "What role are you playing today??" and as you would know the great Shakespeare has already famously said that - "All life's a stage and we are all actors here, playing our parts on this stage".
So by the deductive analysis of the wisdom contained in these two statetements we can easily say that life is an act and our roles in it keep changing. Thus having role models is a) morally wrong as emulating role models will amount to lack of of originality and hence plagiarism; b) it also violates the idea of brand loyalty, as with changing roles one needs to keep changing the role models.
On account of these reasons i do not have any role models.

("Bravo. Seems like i am going to get a 10 on 10 in values today. I must pay attention to the other aspects of evaluation now.")

S - Judeth you sure are a very different candidate from the rest i have interviewed so far.

J - Thats good to hear sir. I hope to significantly increase the diversity of this batch with my out of the box thinking.

("Batch-Diversity, selling and out of the box thinking all in one answer u r a genius J. The check-list is almost complete now. I just wish that he ask me why MBA and i will seal it then.")

(S is completely fed up by now but doesnt know why is he still continuing with the interview.)

S - J i have one last question for you, what are your reasons for doing an MBA.

J - Mercedez Benz After this.

S - Is that your reason!!

J - God, no sir. This is the reason why any average guy does an MBA today. Clearly these guys are lost souls with misplaced priorities. I as you have already noted am very different from the rest. My purpose of doing an MBA is pure learning. As a man can get enlightened only through learning . I thus seek spiritual solace and hope to reach God through lessons in management accounting.

("God is great. I am done with all that i had to say. Take me in and let me go now.")

S - That is all i had ask Judeth you can leave now and send in the next average guy on your way out.

J - Sure i'll do that sir.Thanks a lot sir.