Alex: ..but whats the point. All that sweat only makes you stink.
Issac: But if you enjoy the sweating then it doesnt stink. It smells good, real good.
Alex: Thats a big 'but' you're talkin about there.
Issac: Yup. The difference between i was too busy to even breathe and a life well spent.
Alex (smiling): I think this 'big' stuff really doesn't suit us much.
Issac: Ya you are right. Just that talking about this stuff makes us feel like - though we are lost but we know its supposed to be this way.
Alex: I think you are going there again. Loosen up a bit. You dont need to see the whole distance right from the onset.
Issac (smiling): Guess you are right again. That makes it two in a row. Not bad from your standards!!
Alex: I dont know whether this comforts you but i did a lot better in my term papers when i simply started with the question i knew best and then kept on choosing the next best till i had my 5 than compared to the times when i'll sweat about picking the best 5 out of the given 8 right at the outset.
Issac: Makes sense. During fog its best to drive 100 mts at a time.
Alex (smiling): Well term papers were certainly very foggy for me. But fog or no fog i suggest you drive 100 mts at a time. Always.
Issac: Agreed. But knowing the destination is important. Don't you think??
Alex (smiling): Well then lets just say the analogy's not perfect. But again i'd say drive the next 100 mts in the right direction and hope that by then you'll know the direction in which you have to drive the next 100.
Issac: It feels a little odd saying you are right so many times. But i guess you are. Certain things reveal their cause only after their occurence. Till then i think simply enjoy the ride.
Alex: Totally. I'd much rather have fun along the way and reach the wrong destination than the other way around. Though nothing like enjoy and get there.
Issac: Its funny how i can at times be so blind to certain things that are otherwise so apparent.
Alex (smiling): Don't feel so bad. You're not the only one.
Issac (taking control of the steering wheel): So i guess i should drive the next 100 mts now. You want me to play- i am having the time of my life.
Alex: Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. (Pause)
Though there always will be this longing to see the whole distance lurking somewhere in the background. But may be life lies somewhere in between.
Issac (pressing the accelerator): Well may be and even if it doesent thats as much i can see.
Alex (nods while putting his sunglasses on to get ready for the drive ahead): My man.
June 9, 2008
March 15, 2008
I Want to Be My Hero
The interview season is now over for me. Looking back none of the three interviews seem promising enough to result in a convert and the worst part is that this is not the worst part. The worst part i think was the manner in which i lost C - 5 minutes - thats it - sudden death. The abruptness of panel's thank you, left me with a feeling of shock. Initially, i felt let down by the panel for not having given me enough time but now that some time has passed i can see the panel did in fact give me chances at multiple occasions but i let myself down by not making use of the openings.
The biggest opening came when the panel asked me - What is it that are you passionate about. Now, since ages i've been asking the same question to myself without any success in finding the answer. After all, providing customised research and analytics services to Evalueserve's clients never really felt like a passion to me. And all the other interests that i have can at best be hobbies but nothing even close to a passion.
The irony of it all is that my inability to answer the question in the interview is infact now going to keep from finding the answer for some more time. The reason why i say so is because the panel member who asked me this question, from the moment i first looked at him, seemed like an all-knower, as if there was nothing in the entire cosmos that he wouldn't know. And by answering this question as stupidly as i did in the interview (not to mention that this was not the only such instance) i have denied myself the opportunity to be in the company of such enlightened souls for two years. However, the brightest possibility even at the end of those two years would have been - me searching for my passion in selling bank loans or soaps.
Now, its natural for those who read this post to find it weird that i am so impressed with someone by merely looking at him. If i think about it its weird to me as well. But, some faces speak so loud that its hard not to listen. That person in his appearence looked at complete peace with himself, in a state of equilibrium with this world. My guess is if someone would ask him - What is success? he would probably answer with a smile on his face - Don't bother kid, with time i realised its not such an important question after all. Some day you would too.
As a person i've always been extremely fickle minded with a vague concept of self. My aspirations can vary from the images of the traditional filthy cool on one end to images of extreme profundity on the other and a plethora of other things in between the two extremes. But, never in my head a Vikram Pandit (the Citigroup dude) would seem like an aspirational figure. Again, the irony is that, in my present course, thats the ultimate success that i can even aim at, let alone have.
At this point i would mention with some reluctance though, that Roger Federer for me always has been one ever green aspirational figure . I picture him falling to the ground with tears of joy and satisfaction in his eyes, that is so characteristic of him, after any of his grand slam victories and wish if i could be him (i know i am yet to grow up). But, this interview person has given me another and more importatantly a more attainable face to think of as my ideal. Now, i can atleast hope that some day i will be my hero.
The biggest opening came when the panel asked me - What is it that are you passionate about. Now, since ages i've been asking the same question to myself without any success in finding the answer. After all, providing customised research and analytics services to Evalueserve's clients never really felt like a passion to me. And all the other interests that i have can at best be hobbies but nothing even close to a passion.
The irony of it all is that my inability to answer the question in the interview is infact now going to keep from finding the answer for some more time. The reason why i say so is because the panel member who asked me this question, from the moment i first looked at him, seemed like an all-knower, as if there was nothing in the entire cosmos that he wouldn't know. And by answering this question as stupidly as i did in the interview (not to mention that this was not the only such instance) i have denied myself the opportunity to be in the company of such enlightened souls for two years. However, the brightest possibility even at the end of those two years would have been - me searching for my passion in selling bank loans or soaps.
Now, its natural for those who read this post to find it weird that i am so impressed with someone by merely looking at him. If i think about it its weird to me as well. But, some faces speak so loud that its hard not to listen. That person in his appearence looked at complete peace with himself, in a state of equilibrium with this world. My guess is if someone would ask him - What is success? he would probably answer with a smile on his face - Don't bother kid, with time i realised its not such an important question after all. Some day you would too.
As a person i've always been extremely fickle minded with a vague concept of self. My aspirations can vary from the images of the traditional filthy cool on one end to images of extreme profundity on the other and a plethora of other things in between the two extremes. But, never in my head a Vikram Pandit (the Citigroup dude) would seem like an aspirational figure. Again, the irony is that, in my present course, thats the ultimate success that i can even aim at, let alone have.
At this point i would mention with some reluctance though, that Roger Federer for me always has been one ever green aspirational figure . I picture him falling to the ground with tears of joy and satisfaction in his eyes, that is so characteristic of him, after any of his grand slam victories and wish if i could be him (i know i am yet to grow up). But, this interview person has given me another and more importatantly a more attainable face to think of as my ideal. Now, i can atleast hope that some day i will be my hero.
March 13, 2008
Devastating Indeed
Context - My C interview.
Alex: So tell me precisely - are you devastated or distraught??
Issac: I think i am distraught because of the devastation.
Alex: Hmm. But i think you were lucky to have survived to feel distraught after the devastation because most of the times devastation u know really just devastates. Theres nothing left to feel afterwards.
Issac(smiling): Oh cut the crap. Would you.
Alex(also smiling): Alright. But, atleast tell me what led to the devastation.
Issac: I think i entered the interview room with set ideas about how its going to go. And above all i was too hell-bent on discussing my writing which eventually did me in.
Alex: How so?
Issac: One of the panelists asked me if i am passionate about anything. In the most dispassionate ways i replied - i like writing, in the hope that the next question would be - what do you write. He asked me again - is that your passion. I again dispassionately replied - i love writing, not realising that i had the choice of saying that there are a number of things which i like doing but i am yet to discover a passion.
Alex: Do you think that would've been an appropriate answer.
Issac: I guess if nothing else it atleast couldn't have been worse than what and the way i said what i said. After all, not all who go to C have a passion.
Alex: So, thats the devastation you were referring to.
Issac(smiling): No, this was the beginning of the devastation because from this point on the distraught feeling had set in which allowed the devastation to reach such catastrophic proportions that my castle of dreams was burnt in a matter 5 minutes.
Alex(also smiling): Devastating indeed.
Alex: So tell me precisely - are you devastated or distraught??
Issac: I think i am distraught because of the devastation.
Alex: Hmm. But i think you were lucky to have survived to feel distraught after the devastation because most of the times devastation u know really just devastates. Theres nothing left to feel afterwards.
Issac(smiling): Oh cut the crap. Would you.
Alex(also smiling): Alright. But, atleast tell me what led to the devastation.
Issac: I think i entered the interview room with set ideas about how its going to go. And above all i was too hell-bent on discussing my writing which eventually did me in.
Alex: How so?
Issac: One of the panelists asked me if i am passionate about anything. In the most dispassionate ways i replied - i like writing, in the hope that the next question would be - what do you write. He asked me again - is that your passion. I again dispassionately replied - i love writing, not realising that i had the choice of saying that there are a number of things which i like doing but i am yet to discover a passion.
Alex: Do you think that would've been an appropriate answer.
Issac: I guess if nothing else it atleast couldn't have been worse than what and the way i said what i said. After all, not all who go to C have a passion.
Alex: So, thats the devastation you were referring to.
Issac(smiling): No, this was the beginning of the devastation because from this point on the distraught feeling had set in which allowed the devastation to reach such catastrophic proportions that my castle of dreams was burnt in a matter 5 minutes.
Alex(also smiling): Devastating indeed.
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