I used an anti-ageing cream
slowly though the little wrinkle still crept in
Lord intended my face to be an open book
but i used surgery to overlook
I then began to realize
there's a story behind each line
God evaluated my deeds
then drew lines of sorrow remorse or relief
Wrinkles are symptoms not the disease
botox only an option to hide than reveal
I grew old with each day spent
nature sketched while i slept
Each passing day presented a new hindrance
result then displayed on my countenance
Karma is the only way to pass this test
let the artist take care of rest.
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9 comments:
its a little philosphycal & a bit self potrait which is quit easy to analyse from your personality but some words like botox makes a bit uneasy to some reader what i think.but good effort...
ashish
the first one is far better... i could only appreciate the language and the writing style in this one... and PLEASE change the title for gods sake..
Pradeep
The first poem is really good.Ek mast poetist chupa hai tere andar.
Good.
Anirudh
well done bro!!! u sketched a good one.... keep it up
first of all i don't know what a good poetry is but if it is appealing then urs is certainly 1 well it tells a lot abt u getting old and it really delivers the pain u feel deep inside (hehehe just jokin yar) good job done but ashish is rite in pointing out the use of botox
sorry man but the truth is u could do better.. first one was good.. nice topic to try though
very thoughtful loved the analogy
i usually cant appreciate poetry
but this one stands out
This time I dont have anything to comment, to point out, to define or to state.
I read it. and I loved it.
In the same simple manner as you wrote it, I felt it.
I'd say this is the Best one.
~
Shriyaa.
to shriyaa
and i m very happy with the fact that
'u read it and u loved it.'
thanks a lot for ur appreciation.
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