The interview season is now over for me. Looking back none of the three interviews seem promising enough to result in a convert and the worst part is that this is not the worst part. The worst part i think was the manner in which i lost C - 5 minutes - thats it - sudden death. The abruptness of panel's thank you, left me with a feeling of shock. Initially, i felt let down by the panel for not having given me enough time but now that some time has passed i can see the panel did in fact give me chances at multiple occasions but i let myself down by not making use of the openings.
The biggest opening came when the panel asked me - What is it that are you passionate about. Now, since ages i've been asking the same question to myself without any success in finding the answer. After all, providing customised research and analytics services to Evalueserve's clients never really felt like a passion to me. And all the other interests that i have can at best be hobbies but nothing even close to a passion.
The irony of it all is that my inability to answer the question in the interview is infact now going to keep from finding the answer for some more time. The reason why i say so is because the panel member who asked me this question, from the moment i first looked at him, seemed like an all-knower, as if there was nothing in the entire cosmos that he wouldn't know. And by answering this question as stupidly as i did in the interview (not to mention that this was not the only such instance) i have denied myself the opportunity to be in the company of such enlightened souls for two years. However, the brightest possibility even at the end of those two years would have been - me searching for my passion in selling bank loans or soaps.
Now, its natural for those who read this post to find it weird that i am so impressed with someone by merely looking at him. If i think about it its weird to me as well. But, some faces speak so loud that its hard not to listen. That person in his appearence looked at complete peace with himself, in a state of equilibrium with this world. My guess is if someone would ask him - What is success? he would probably answer with a smile on his face - Don't bother kid, with time i realised its not such an important question after all. Some day you would too.
As a person i've always been extremely fickle minded with a vague concept of self. My aspirations can vary from the images of the traditional filthy cool on one end to images of extreme profundity on the other and a plethora of other things in between the two extremes. But, never in my head a Vikram Pandit (the Citigroup dude) would seem like an aspirational figure. Again, the irony is that, in my present course, thats the ultimate success that i can even aim at, let alone have.
At this point i would mention with some reluctance though, that Roger Federer for me always has been one ever green aspirational figure . I picture him falling to the ground with tears of joy and satisfaction in his eyes, that is so characteristic of him, after any of his grand slam victories and wish if i could be him (i know i am yet to grow up). But, this interview person has given me another and more importatantly a more attainable face to think of as my ideal. Now, i can atleast hope that some day i will be my hero.
The biggest opening came when the panel asked me - What is it that are you passionate about. Now, since ages i've been asking the same question to myself without any success in finding the answer. After all, providing customised research and analytics services to Evalueserve's clients never really felt like a passion to me. And all the other interests that i have can at best be hobbies but nothing even close to a passion.
The irony of it all is that my inability to answer the question in the interview is infact now going to keep from finding the answer for some more time. The reason why i say so is because the panel member who asked me this question, from the moment i first looked at him, seemed like an all-knower, as if there was nothing in the entire cosmos that he wouldn't know. And by answering this question as stupidly as i did in the interview (not to mention that this was not the only such instance) i have denied myself the opportunity to be in the company of such enlightened souls for two years. However, the brightest possibility even at the end of those two years would have been - me searching for my passion in selling bank loans or soaps.
Now, its natural for those who read this post to find it weird that i am so impressed with someone by merely looking at him. If i think about it its weird to me as well. But, some faces speak so loud that its hard not to listen. That person in his appearence looked at complete peace with himself, in a state of equilibrium with this world. My guess is if someone would ask him - What is success? he would probably answer with a smile on his face - Don't bother kid, with time i realised its not such an important question after all. Some day you would too.
As a person i've always been extremely fickle minded with a vague concept of self. My aspirations can vary from the images of the traditional filthy cool on one end to images of extreme profundity on the other and a plethora of other things in between the two extremes. But, never in my head a Vikram Pandit (the Citigroup dude) would seem like an aspirational figure. Again, the irony is that, in my present course, thats the ultimate success that i can even aim at, let alone have.
At this point i would mention with some reluctance though, that Roger Federer for me always has been one ever green aspirational figure . I picture him falling to the ground with tears of joy and satisfaction in his eyes, that is so characteristic of him, after any of his grand slam victories and wish if i could be him (i know i am yet to grow up). But, this interview person has given me another and more importatantly a more attainable face to think of as my ideal. Now, i can atleast hope that some day i will be my hero.
5 comments:
I think this post of yours is quite easy 4 me to relate as im also going thru exactly the same in my life as wel(both devastated and distraught)...coming 2 u,i feel dat u shud stop workin on findin ur passion..u wud b able to prove nothing 2 anyone by flaunting it..moreover i feel that its perfectly alright to not to have an passion..not having it doesnt mean dat u need 2 feel below par others..even i dont have any passion(goddamn i dont have hobbies either)and just like u i also tried to find it out quite a few times n everytime ended up on things not worth mentioning like music n shopping..then i gave up...as long as interviews are concerned i think no one can reject anyone simply bcos for not having so called passion..n u knw dat one can also be passionate abt life itself...yeah just by being little more passionate about life u will b your hero oneday..!!
bdw telme one thing..for what ur giving this interviews actly..i mean job or what??..stupid question i knw!!!
hey KT,
first i must apologize for not reading your blog for a long time, but now when i did read it, it seemed fresh (if thats a word) you have a flair when you write and it sounds almost passionately dis-passioned..you write with a subtle wit and try to be objective about the situation without bieng "verbose"...anyhow..if you say that ur passion is/was writing stick to it, or maybe your passion (from your orkut pics) should be changing different hair styles and taking photos in them to see how you look..anyhow your posts seems very fresh..take care mate
g.k.b
to g.k.b
firstly u dont need to apologise i am quite happy with the fact that u find time every now and then to visit this space and on top of it people who post comments have always been among my favourites.
secondly its quite apparent from ur comment that u didnt just read the post u read it with interest and i am again happy that u liked my writing as u urself write pretty well..so all in all a big thank u.
to anonymous
a passionate shopper..well thats an interesting thought.
the interviews were for the IIMs
one day u surely will be.......till then have faith and enjoy life:)
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