Alive

Scene 1
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Alex: I need to feel inspired.

Issac: Well I was about to say hi. But seems like you're in no mood to waste time in pleasantries. So what inspiration you were talkin about there.

Alex: Do you remember Emily from college.

Issac: How can anyone not remember her. 5 feet 6 inches tall brunette with brown eyes and a mean streak in her stride.

Alex: Of course how can you miss the mean streak even if you’ve seen her just once. I was always just too fond of her. And all that meanness of hers went no deeper than the surface.

Issac: Well i don't know about that but what i do know is that that punk was a total knock out.

Alex: That no one could disagree with. Anyways as unexpected as it was she called me last night saying she just ran into a tape that we recorded together after we had gotten ourselves really drunk one night.

Issac: What are you saying man. I mean you are more than i had ever imagined. Brunette, alcohol and video tape. That too no ordinary brunette we're talkin about Emily Parkinson here. You know what, from this moment on, you are officially my hero.

Alex: It’s not how you think my li’l pervy boy. It’s an audio tape where all of us are singing ‘dumb sugar get outta here.’

Issac: That’s too bad. But what song is that. Never heard of it.

Alex: That’s a song i had written back in college.

Issac: One way or the other you surprise me Elvis.

Alex: Me aint no Elvis. I just used to write and sing some casual stuff here n there back then.

Issac: So i am guessing her calling you had something to do with your special talent. Am i right?

Alex: Well you don't have to be a genius to guess that. The thing is she’s releasing her private album. So she’s asked me to write a song so that both of us can do a duet for her album. She’s in the finishing stages of the album and i am like a last minute fix for her album. So now i have to complete this song in like a week. I spent the whole night trying to scribble some stuff on paper but none of it was any good. Seems like i’ve totally lost the touch.

Issac: Well the Elvis has been buried for the last five years. It sure will take some time before it gets singin again. What kinda song does she want anyway.

Alex: Well she said she wants something tangy something that feels like pop rocks romance. You know like free spirit, don’t give a damn about tomorrow kinda romance.

Issac: Ah disco lights with pouts and giggles and lipstick.

Alex: Yeah something of that order.

Issac: So whats the plan now Elvis.

Alex: The plan is that i’ll try writing some stuff tonight. Then go see her tomorrow with or without the song. If i come up with something, good for us and if i can’t deliver the goods she better make some alternate arrangement in time.

Issac: I am sure you’ll come up with something. I can see a song in your eyes. It’s only a matter of time before it comes out. Anyways office is here time for me to get down. You work up the magic Elvis.

Alex: Yeah thanks for all the encouragement. I’ll see you tomorrow mate.
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Scene 2
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Next morning. Alex is at Emily’s residence. Knock.

Emily: Hey Alex. Come right in.

Alex enters the house.

Emily: It's so good to see you after all this time. And you look great.

Alex: Well thank you. And you look stunning as ever. Getting younger with time it seems.

Emily: Oh yeah go on. I could sure use some flattery. By the way i am so sorry to have bothered you with this thing on such short notice. But when i listened to your song from the old times i just knew that you’re the one who I want to do this song with.

Alex: Oh no not at all. In fact i should thank you instead. I mean i used to enjoy writing songs so much back then. But after college it’s all been very dry. You just gave me a good reason to go back to that old interest of mine.

Emily: That’s good to hear. I’d asked Sarah to be at the keyboard for this song in the album. And she was also saying something similar to what you are saying. It’s amazing how easy it is for us to forget how things were when they were and now they no longer are.

Alex: Yeah that’s so true. But i am here to give you a bad news. I’ve been trying to write this song for the last two days without any success. Frankly, i don’t think i am the man for the job. A lot of time’s passed since i last wrote or sang. I am too uninspired right now. Somehow there’s just not enough motivation now. I mean earlier when i used to write songs i always had the idea of all of us singing it at the roof of Bart’s apartment on the 15th floor around a bon fire. Now without that picture somehow the inspiration has gone.

Emily: I think it’s natural for you to think this way right now. I had similar feelings before Bart himself convinced me that i should do it. In fact he didn’t give me an option. I think i’ll have to do the same with you now. Guess we all have our own Bart’s roof but you need to find a way around it in this case.

Alex: Well not all of us. Heres you going all out. A private album release is a major step.

Emily: Well i don’t know if it is or not. But i am doing this album just because i really want to. I mean i am not seeking anything from this. Just sing a few songs put my compilation out there. See if there are any takers. I am seriously hoping that the world’s still left with a few people with bad taste in music.

Smiles

Alex: All jokes aside i sincerely think that what you’re doing is super-cool. It’s like gifting yourself with something.

Emily: Actually, that was precisely my intent or should I say Bart’s intent for me. And you know what we got all our friends to chip in with every aspect of this album be it the lyrics or the music or any of the technical work. So that in the process all of us get a chance to make ourselves happy again. Old style. Whatever we make from this album will serve as the seed fund for someone among us to reverse the Bart’s roof condition.

Alex: Well what can i say that’s a very noble idea. So who’s first in the list of beneficiaries?

Emily: Technically speaking i was the first beneficiary. It all started with Bart trying his luck with his amateur interest in painting. He recently organized an exhibition. As it turned out the exhibition did way better than our expectations. The finances for this album come from the proceeds of that exhibition. And now like i said the earnings from this album will help some other friend of ours to take his interest more seriously. None of us here’s hoping to make a career out of our interests. The whole idea is to enjoy ourselves doing what we like doing. In fact this ‘movement’ if you can really call it that was Bart's idea. He calls it the DIFY club.

Alex: And what exactly does DIFY stand for?

Emily: Do It For Yourself.

Alex: Well that’s vintage Bart. Always giving. Always working to bring out the best in people. Come to think of it it’s only fair that Bart came to the rescue of the BRS afflicted.

Emily: BRS?

Alex: Bart’s Roof Syndrome.

Emily(Smiling): And that’s vintage you with your awful sense of humor.

Smiles

Alex: Well clearly somethings don’t change. Like this little laugh of yours.

Emily: What about this laugh?

Alex: You know in college you used act all catty with loads of attitude n all but whenever you laughed you gave it away. Gave it away too easy. You laugh like a child you know that.

Emily: Ah. Really, n all these years i thought i was doing a great job at being a really mean girl.

Smiles.

Alex: Well those days were something. Driving 50 miles at 3 a.m. just to eat pancakes and why? Just because we felt like. There was no need for a reason to do things. At times i wonder how did we become so hard along the way. Hard on ourselves and hard on others. It’s difficult now to even believe that there was a time when i used to be like that. How i long for those days.

Emily: You know i've always felt that the natural order of things wants us to just flow. Theres joy in flow. We become hard because we evaluate everything from people to situations to actions and god knows what not. Always calculating whats in it for me. You sit next to a person on a 2-hr flight. You say to yourself theres no point talking coz in 2 hours we’ll go separate ways so whats the point in talking. So read a lousy book instead or worse sleep. You need to be a little mad to enjoy life. Too much reason takes all the fun away.

Alex: And because of this same need to find reason everywhere you end up killing your interests and all the ideas of what you were going to do and become. Sooner or later all of it just begins to look unreasonable. And you just end up numb and dumb going through a patterned life trying to make money, more money and still more money.

Emily: And you know what when enough time passes you get so used to living without these ideas of yourself that it doesn’t even hurt anymore. You get used to a lesser life. But to really understand the difference between what life could be and what it is you need to go back to whatever made you feel alive. That feeling is a high.

Alex: Well thats DIFY. Ain’t it.

Emily: Precisely that.

Pause

Emily: I've got an idea. Get your car we are going.

Alex: Going where?

Emily: I don’t know. We’ll see. Till the time I figure that out we’ll just drive. It might take a couple of days.

Alex: But…

Emily(With intent in her eyes): No buts. You know at times what you really need is to get yourself out of your comfort zone. I don’t want you to waste away your life just trying only to avoid negatives because this way the best you can hope for is a zero. Take a chance make a mistake or else where’s the fun. This way there’s no joy. So all i need you to do right now is to feel like you have nothing to lose and just flow with me. No questions. No reasons. Just flow. You said you need to feel inspired. Maybe this is exactly what you need.

As Alex fires the engine Emily turns his face towards her, her hands in his hair she leans over and gives him a kiss.

Emily: I don’t know. Maybe i just wanted to feel alive.

Smiles.
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Scene 3
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Two days and 252 miles later. Emily knocks on a door while Alex stands by her side. The door opens.

Alex: Bart!! That’s you man!! Bart Lindermann.

Bart: Bang on Alex Brogan. Welcome once again to Bart’s roof. This time it's here to stay.

Alex: So this is the DIFY club.

Bart: Exactly. And i want you to gift yourself a new way of life. We call it Alive.

Alex and Bart lock into a tight hug. Alex then turns around towards Emily and looks into her eyes with her face held between his hands and then closes his eyes as he leans in to kiss her.

Alex (Smiling with his eyes): I don’t know. Maybe i am just feeling alive.

Smiles all around.

May be life lies somewhere in between

Alex: ..but whats the point. All that sweat only makes you stink.

Issac: But if you enjoy the sweating then it doesnt stink. It smells good, real good.

Alex: Thats a big 'but' you're talkin about there.

Issac: Yup. The difference between i was too busy to even breathe and a life well spent.

Alex (smiling): I think this 'big' stuff really doesn't suit us much.

Issac: Ya you are right. Just that talking about this stuff makes us feel like - though we are lost but we know its supposed to be this way.

Alex: I think you are going there again. Loosen up a bit. You dont need to see the whole distance right from the onset.

Issac (smiling): Guess you are right again. That makes it two in a row. Not bad from your standards!!

Alex: I dont know whether this comforts you but i did a lot better in my term papers when i simply started with the question i knew best and then kept on choosing the next best till i had my 5 than compared to the times when i'll sweat about picking the best 5 out of the given 8 right at the outset.

Issac: Makes sense. During fog its best to drive 100 mts at a time.

Alex (smiling): Well term papers were certainly very foggy for me. But fog or no fog i suggest you drive 100 mts at a time. Always.

Issac: Agreed. But knowing the destination is important. Don't you think??

Alex (smiling): Well then lets just say the analogy's not perfect. But again i'd say drive the next 100 mts in the right direction and hope that by then you'll know the direction in which you have to drive the next 100.

Issac: It feels a little odd saying you are right so many times. But i guess you are. Certain things reveal their cause only after their occurence. Till then i think simply enjoy the ride.

Alex: Totally. I'd much rather have fun along the way and reach the wrong destination than the other way around. Though nothing like enjoy and get there.

Issac: Its funny how i can at times be so blind to certain things that are otherwise so apparent.

Alex (smiling): Don't feel so bad. You're not the only one.

Issac (taking control of the steering wheel): So i guess i should drive the next 100 mts now. You want me to play- i am having the time of my life.

Alex: Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. (Pause)
Though there always will be this longing to see the whole distance lurking somewhere in the background. But may be life lies somewhere in between.

Issac (pressing the accelerator): Well may be and even if it doesent thats as much i can see.

Alex (nods while putting his sunglasses on to get ready for the drive ahead): My man.

Devastating Indeed

Context - My C interview.

Alex: So tell me precisely - are you devastated or distraught??

Issac: I think i am distraught because of the devastation.

Alex: Hmm. But i think you were lucky to have survived to feel distraught after the devastation because most of the times devastation u know really just devastates. Theres nothing left to feel afterwards.

Issac(smiling): Oh cut the crap. Would you.

Alex(also smiling): Alright. But, atleast tell me what led to the devastation.

Issac: I think i entered the interview room with set ideas about how its going to go. And above all i was too hell-bent on discussing my writing which eventually did me in.

Alex: How so?

Issac: One of the panelists asked me if i am passionate about anything. In the most dispassionate ways i replied - i like writing, in the hope that the next question would be - what do you write. He asked me again - is that your passion. I again dispassionately replied - i love writing, not realising that i had the choice of saying that there are a number of things which i like doing but i am yet to discover a passion.

Alex: Do you think that would've been an appropriate answer.

Issac: I guess if nothing else it atleast couldn't have been worse than what and the way i said what i said. After all, not all who go to C have a passion.

Alex: So, thats the devastation you were referring to.

Issac(smiling): No, this was the beginning of the devastation because from this point on the distraught feeling had set in which allowed the devastation to reach such catastrophic proportions that my castle of dreams was burnt in a matter 5 minutes.

Alex(also smiling): Devastating indeed.

High on Mustafa's round kicks

Caution: A long post ahead so don't rush through it instead read slowly because i wrote it slowly. And please be kind enough to leave comments.

The clock strikes the zero hour. Trance music mixed with tonnes of smoke fills the entire space of this hall jammed with hundreds of 20- somethings. Scores of hands go up in the air every second and an equal number of them come down simultaneously. A small space at the corner of the hall houses a small table with some 100 grams of white powder on it. These 20-somethings periodically come to this space, snort some coke and return to the to the trance zone in a state of trance. Another corner houses a bar-counter with an arrangement of some stools on the outside. On two of these stools sit Alex and Issac who are in fact the only two people who are inside the trance zone while outside the state of trance. They are here with Mark and Steve who are currently floating in space outside the milky way on their space shuttle- marijuana.

The bar tender pours orange juice and lemonade into two crystal clear stem glasses, cuts a thin slice of an orange and a lemon and garnishes the two drinks. He then places two crooked straws in the two drinks and serves them to the only sober men in this rave party. Alex picks up the orange juice while Issac sips the lemonade.

Alex to Issac: Why on earth did we have to come here, i mean i am feeling totally out of place here. I should have had this juice at a place where people were actually into juices.

Issac(while sucking in the lemonade through the crooked straw): But then this juice won't have tasted half as good as it does now. Just relax and you will be fine. Sip the juice, listen to the music and simply soak in the atmosphere.

Alex slowly sips the juice and does what Issac told him to do. After a while he begins to relax and feels a lot more at ease.

Alex(trying to start a conversation): You come to such places quite often don't you?

Issac(casually): Yeah, i kinda like to observe such stuff. Man these guys are capable of pulling off some real weird stuff when they're on moon.

Alex: So you never get high yourself?

Issac(playfully):I get about as high as this lemonade and this crazy decibel level can get me. And believe me thats very high for me.

Alex(smiles): Well, don't you ever feel like getting high?

Issac(is somewhat drawn in now): Do you?

Alex: Well, earlier i never gave a thought to these things, but right now looking at these people i feel like doing it myself.

Issac(looking very interested now): Really, you do. Ok tell me what exactly about these people draws you to them?

Alex(trying hard to find words to express his feelings): I don't know, it's just that they look so free.

Issac: You know, when i was very young, my friend William once took me to a video game shop. William was very fond of a game whose protagonist was a character called Mustafa. He then took control of the machine. I was really intrigued by the adeptness with which he handled the controls. He used only his left index finger to control the joystick and his right index finger to press any of the four buttons. I stood by his side watching Mustafa kill all the enemies one by one and finally achieving the mission by completing all four stages of the game.
Then i got to lay my hands on the machine. I tried to emulate William in my handling of the controls but had no skill to go with it, so Mustafa was getting brazenly beaten and gradually lost all his life. I inserted a new coin in the machine but this time i left all the elegance aside and pounced on to the controls pressing all the buttons simultaneously. As a result Mustafa was now delivering flying round kicks to the enemies. I was overjoyed. But after a few such kicks Mustafa died himself without at all getting beaten by the enemy. I inserted two more coins played the same way and got the same result. William then told me that each time i pressed all the four buttons together Mustafa lost some of his life while delivering the round kick. If the game was only about pressing the four buttons together then it won't be much of a game, he added.

So you see while Mustafa looked very free jumping in the air delivering those acrobatic flying round kicks, he was actually wearing out, getting weaker with each kick.

Alex(amused): Man i should have believed you when you said that you can get high on lemonade. So are you saying that what we are seeing in front us right now are hundreds of such high flying Mustafas.

Issac: Yeah, you've hit it. (Pause)...
See, God gave us a consciousness with five senses to go with it.Through these senses we interface with the world and experience a whole gamut of emotions through our consciousness. Using drugs is like pressing all the four buttons together. Everytime you do it, Mustafa will fly and deliver a round kick to the unpleasurable sensory inputs by by-passing the consciousness but this is not without a cost. It is not and can not be a replacement for skill. Like William said it won't be much of a game otherwise. The crux of the game lies in your level of skill with the controls and using your perishable resources frugally like William did to clear all four stages of the game to achieve the missison.

Alex(nods in agreement then shrugs): Yeah, may be you're right. But what the heck it's fun anyways.

Issac(playful again): Totally true. Sobriety sucks! Do you see that guy at the center, man he always dances the same way when he's high, with one hand in his back pocket the other one in the air and his chin glued to his chest. And that guy at the back......

So it ends here..how do u feel

Alex: ...so, last few days left in college, don't you feel that it should last forever.

Issac: U insane?! The whole thing has already become such a drag. Finally life's going to get moving again.

Alex: That's strange. Perhaps you don't realise, but this is the best time we'll ever have, living life on our own terms without having to give any answers.

Issac: I guess most people say that because the romantic ideal of college life is supposed to be that way.Yes, i know that we've had some really good times here, but don't you think it's getting too repetitive now. I mean the late night hangouts, booze parties, frivolous banters etc. were fun earlier but now i am crying change.

Alex: So, you are saying that you are glad that it's getting over.

Issac: Well almost, but yes there is some faint part of me that feels the way you do, though i really don't know why. Guess it's inertia more than anything else.

Alex: Let six months pass and you will long for these days all over again.

Issac: May be i will. If not after six months after six years most certainly i will be longing for these days. But then these days will no longer be a routine like they've become now.
It's the mundaneness of it all that's killing me. After all too much chocolate can also make you pretty sick.

Alex: It's funny isn't it. All this while you were yearning for some free time so that you can enjoy yourself. Now when you actually have that time, you want to get busy again.

Issac(chuckles): Funny it is! But i guess i won't be getting so bored if i was meeting new people, travelling to new places, learning new stuff n all that.
Right now the concept of fun is a bit too cliched, very static very stale.

Alex: Ok now i get it. So let's go say hi to Sunita Williams and her crew tomorrow; new people, new place, tonnes of new learning n all that..eh?

Issac(smiling): That sounds like real fun. Let's do the dew.

Alex(also smiling): Alright we will. Good night.

Issac(signing-off): Good night.

Alex in Solace Lane

Alarm goes off. Its 7 in the morning Alex wakes up and rushes to the bathroom. After having finished the usual morning rituals he flips through the pages of today's newspaper while hurriedly chewing a sandwich and sipping that nescafe in his hand (how he manages all these things together with two hands is quite interesting in its own way). He takes a quick look in the mirror sets his hair and rushes to his workplace (he works in a kpo).

11 hrs of back breaking work of sitting in front of the computer screen, forgetting to blink for hours and only having the odd coffee in the name of straightening that bent back. The only words he hears are- client presentation, database, google, deliverable and yes the most dreaded of them all deadline (someone very wisely defined it as a long line at the end of which u r dead). Alex had now understood in its entirety what the phrase 'mechanical existence' meant.

After a long day he returns to his room and like a nomad has to now go looking for dinner. So he splashes some water on his face, changes to an old pair of jeans and a thin t-shirt and out he goes to find some food. Through with dinner and feeling somewhat reluctant to go back to his dingy room Alex then decides to take a stroll down the long and winding road called the Solace Lane. It’s a huge stretch of road with a plethora of shops and eateries on both sides and at this hour it’s always buzzing with frenetic activity with people of all ages and all kinds coming here to shop, walk, eat or simply hangout. With a gentle breeze against his face Alex walks observing people while reflecting on the various events in the day. As he recalls these events he is slightly saddened by the thought that today was no different than yesterday and tomorrow is going to be no different either. But he feels relieved right now almost happy with his hair fluttering in the air in this starry moonlit night and life in all forms all around him.

While walking on the Solace Lane he saw an old man joyously giving in to the tantrums of his grandson. He walked further and saw a bunch of college guys shouting swear words at each other and having a hearty laugh, a smile broke out on Alex’s face as he remembered his own life a couple of months back. He walked further still and saw a man wearing a trouser, shirt and a necktie the smile on Alex’s face got broader when he saw this man, as he could see the transition that his life had undergone over the past 2 months in a matter of 2 steps.

For sometime now he had forgotten all the frenzy of his own life and was enjoying observing life from the outside feeling a sense of revelry in this new found objectivity towards his life. At this point he remembered a science class from his school days where his teacher was explaining to the students

" the universe is the vast expansive space that engulfs
everything that exists;
in this universe there are millions of
galaxies;

each galaxy has millions of stars;

sun is a star of one such galaxy called the milky way;

earth is one of the sun’s nine planets;

you are one of the 6 billion (6000000000) people who inhabit
this planet. "

‘one of the 6 billion people’ Alex repeated to himself and felt amused at the importance he associated with an insignificant deadline, felt amused at how he let
this and thousands of other such trivialities affect him each day. The thought was humbling and he felt much lighter. He was glad that he came out for a walk tonight.

He bought an ice-cream and started walking back towards his room enjoying every bit of that ice-cream before it could melt. He slept in bliss that night.

Next day.
Alarm goes off. Its 7 in the morning Alex wakes up and rushes to the bathroom...